What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How could NASA possibly land on the moon when it's impossible to reach the moon through the Earth's dome? Why are they making up such an obvious lie?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why do Darwin atheists not like facts of Genesis? I’ve noticed they block and dismiss everything a person states. Is that how science works to hide when a truth comes at them?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I’m 17 and looking for a girl. What do I do?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What can melt your heart?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why do men love boobs (irrespective of big or small)?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do I sweat between my legs all the time, top off my legs, all way down?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

The sun's poles have flipped. A spacecraft is watching what happens next. - Mashable

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do men think all women are the same?

TEXT:

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!